10 Things You Shouldn’t Say To An Extrovert

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Being an introvert is the new thing now. It’s the new fashion. Your Facebook feed must be loaded with posts such as “Never assume that loud  is strong and quiet is weak ” or, perhaps, “Quiet people have the loudest minds.” We know that the quiet are bullied and we assume that the quiet are the brilliant ones, so to encourage them further, we share such posts on social media and not just that, we also have come to firmly believe that it is true. Are we doing this to encourage our introverted friends  or are we doing this to discourage  our extroverted ones? Think about it.  When you prefer one to the other, there is always a clash, always a rivalry between the two. Such conversations and beliefs cause a giant rift from reality and consideration and brings into fruition the primitive stereotypical nature of mankind to categorize and prefer one from the other.

Let’s actually think how people perceive the introverts and the extroverts.

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CATEGORY ONE: INTROVERTS

1.They are supposed to be shy and polite. Well behaved and coy.

2.They are brilliant in studies and all academia.

3.They are observant.

4.They keep their thoughts to themselves and speak when really necessary.

5.They would rather sit and read a good book, enjoy good music or the company of a good friend rather than PARTY!

CATEGORY TWO: EXTROVERTS

1.They are brilliant conversationalist and enjoy socializing with different  people. 

2.They speak their mind and are good at heart. 

3.They are energetic and enigmatic. They don’t hesitate to break a sweat for anything. 

4.They offer you their company and help whenever you ask for it. 

5.They are encouraging and have the power to stimulate enthusiasm within people. They are natural born leaders. 

Now, what people forget to understand is that, nobody fits perfectly into either category. You can have too much of an introverted quality or too much of an extroverted quality but that doesn’t mean you will immediately be stereotyped into a category.

YES AN EXTROVERT CAN ENJOY A QUIET PERSONAL LEISURE TIME ALONE.

YES AN INTROVERT CAN GIVE OUT A JOYOUS SMILE AND INVOLVE IN SMALL TALK.

So today, let’s delve into some basic points about: 10 Things You Shouldn’t Say To An Extrovert.

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1. “You are unusually quiet today. Is something wrong?”

Whenever a person finds an extrovert contemplating or maybe, reading a book, enjoying a little “me-time”, people start to investigate their situation. They assume he must be sad or unhappy about something. If the extroverted person feels like it, he will talk. Extroverts generally can’t hold emotions in for too long unless he is too rational in his thought process. Whatever it may be, this person has the freedom to enjoy peace and quiet whenever it pleases him. Be considerate but don’t always assume the extroverts to be jumping around like a monkey just because you think they are supposed to.

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2. “You talk too much. Dumb people are the ones who talk too much”

There you go. By saying this, you must have switched on their explosive button. If this person values intellect more than anything else in his life, you have surely scarred their impression of you. Intelligence DOES NOT depend on how much a person’s energy level is. It CAN NEVER be used to determine if a person is smart or not. Well, as an example, you do admire the brilliance of Tony Stark from Iron Man, don’t you? He was an extrovert. If you think I’m giving you a fictitious example, then consider the extroverted personality of the 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Obama.

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3. “Don’t you ever tire of small talk? I value people who always have deep conversations with me.”

Okay. Let’s think this over. Do you really think extroverts small talk all the time or are you just prejudiced that they are socially active and can talk well. An extrovert knows when to small talk if the situation demands for it and when to thoughtfully have deep meaningful conversations when they feel like it. The greatest quality they possess  is that, they can engage with people and can talk endlessly without the hesitation of an introvert for the want of a suitable topic. They can start a topic on bananas, give their thought on it and swiftly change the topic to politics or science or arts. You name it, they can talk about it. They speak their mind and they are well with conversations. It is their versatility that demands a salute.

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4. “You can easily talk to boys. You must be a real flirt. Does it mean that you are disloyal?”

Being disloyal and talking to people are two different things. Do not confuse them. If a person can talk, it is their skill. It has nothing to do with how unfaithful that person is. There is a difference between having conversations and flirting. There is a difference between being polite and showing signs of interest. No, they just love to talk and socialize, they aren’t hitting on you. They have a unique liking for people, how they think, what they are. If extroverts talk a lot with you, it doesn’t mean they want to get into your pants, it just means they like you and as a person you are fascinating to them.

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5. “Being so extroverted, you must just look at the big picture and miss out on all the details.”

Wrong. There are several extroverts who have a keen attention to detail and perfection. Their social life is different from their work life. At work, they are job oriented, determined and focused. They don’t miss out on anything and they get the job done, on time. They do look at the big picture when they need to scan over important information in a short period of time, or point out the necessary points from a big amount of info. Looking at the big picture and attention to detail are both necessary, provided you know what you what and when you need to produce it, if asked for.

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6. “You can easily talk to anyone. Why is it so hard for you to approach your crush?”

Now, don’t be assuming just because an extrovert has the ability to talk freely, they can talk freely with anyone. Yes, they do become shy easily and yes, they can find it hard to catch their breath when their crush approaches them. There are people they can talk to without much effort and sometimes, in certain cases, there are also people they talk to with difficult, by faking confidence. So, next time, do not go wrongly accusing an extrovert of having exceptional mating and conversation skills. They get just as awkward and shy as any other introvert when talking to certain public and in certain situations.

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7. “You are too bossy.”

Nah, they are not. This is who they are. It’s their innate leadership qualities which push people to do things and get the job done. With so many introverts hiding behind the spotlight, neither of them opening their mouth and suggesting a start, someone should suggest what should be done and give a beginning to things. it is always the extroverts who take up the courage to break the ice first(be it in a group project, or an event) and give an initial push to things. Introverts generally tag along as they see they are getting warmer and accustomed to things( and that might take a while.) It is because of the charismatic and friendly nature of the extroverts that they are considered to be excellent leaders in all fields. No, they are definitely NOT being bossy. Someone needs to hold authority and power while others either sulk, procrastinate or hide behind mask of being too judged.

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8. “You are a people pleaser.”

Well, sometimes they need to please people to get what they want and that is not so bad. People can call them people-pleasers because they themselves don’t know how to getting things done around people.  Everybody is sometimes faced with situations where things will not move ahead unless they butter certain other people. This is not specified only to extroverts. It can apply to introverts, as well. Besides work, somethings an extrovert may talk in favor of a topic they stand against just to make his conversation partner happy. That’s not a  bad thing. They might like the other person and might want the other person to like them back. Just because they are nice and affectionate doesn’t mean you can label them as a “people pleaser”.

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9. “Why do you always try to hog attention towards you?”

Introverts, if you are so interested in getting that attention to yourself, why don’t you? Yes, extroverts love being in the center of attention, they love people, they love conversation and that is the very reason they are at the center of most things. If you are so keen in getting so quickly jealous about why they get all the attention, why don’t you start behaving like them and perhaps, earn some recognition yourself? Instead of pouting and talking behind their backs? However, there are ways in which a person might get recognition and being energetic, resourceful and lively is the way of an extrovert which draws all the attention to them. Nevertheless, that is not the only way.

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10. “Why are you always so pleased with yourself?”

Why shouldn’t they? Being bold, courageous and pleased are the keys to a successful life. If you are not pleased with yourself then you should change your lifestyle. Being pleased and being a narcissist are two very different things. Narcissism is an extreme where you think you are better than everybody else and hold no value to their worth. Not at all! Be happy with who you are and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. You only live once!

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Whatever be the case, introversion and extroversion are highly subjective in nature. You can be an introvert in one situation and an extrovert in another(for instance, a family gathering.) A person is made of several qualities mixed together to give a wonderful and unique personality. So it is absurd to give definitive labels to them. If people say you are an extrovert, let them. If they say you are an introvert, let them. But remember, nobody ties you down besides yourself. You decide what you want to be. There is always a choice.  

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I’m Shreya- freelance blogger, bit of an eccentric, psychology maniac, hair icon, LP soldier and a human being.

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